the ustaz to me is so different. of course because he's an USTAZ! what can I expect from him is just his words and his sayings which are so comforting. I can feel that I could easily be close to him in his way of treating me. he treats me well, I can say that. everyone who talks to him will feel the same way that I feel. He's nice, he's good in religion, he's sensitive and he's smart with a good sense of humour. he really touches my heart and I admire him.
but, when I think of this twice, I feel like I am... (wait, while I was typing this, he likes my new status on FB just now. again, I SMILE!) OK, back to my story. - I feel like I am a bad person who is going to change him into a person who is as bad as me. while actually he's supposed to change me right? I'm so afraid about this...seriously n honestly, I wanna be his close friend, I want him to be someone who I can refer to, I don't want to lose him by avoiding him. but I'm afraid that my character will influence him to be bad. oh ustaz...pls be strong! pls remains to be the way u are and let me change myself to be a good person as u...
besides, somehow I feel like I am just 'perasan'! the ustaz will never look at me pun... he's just doing his dakwah la... of course he treats his other friends the same. he's trying to change people in his own way by being close to them n then delivers his dakwah. that's what happened between us actually. I should really think like this so that I won't be thinking too far about our relationship. aik! the way I said our relationship mcm la ada something..hehehe~
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